If you ain't crazy, you just ain't right.

2006-01-28T12:11:00.000-08:00

I am so bored right now, with nothing to do I thought I'd write a blog. Today is my sister Tina Marie's birthday. For those of you who don't know my sister Tina, she is now 24 years old, lives in Crown Town, has long redish orangeish hair and is single. Some of you may be thinking, huh...this girl sounds a lot like Pam's sister Christi. Well, to your ultimate suprise (just wanted to say ultimate, so there you go) it is the same girl. Christi is known on the streets as Tina Marie. No one knows why, no one asks why. That's just how it's always been. Anyway...we had a birthday dinner here for her tonight. Nick (who reminds me of someone), Niki, Jason, Quincy, Mia, Lauren, Brookie, Nadia, Chloe, Charity, Rachel, my mother, Linda, and myself attended. That's a whole lotta people for my house, for my entertaining. Geeze, I can barely stand one of them, two I don't really know, and the rest are cool, but tonight was just plain tireing. I tried my best to be nice to the one I didn't like and to the two I don't know, so I think the night went well.

Randomness: I realized today that I just love doing laundry. It smells so fresh and you get clean clothes out of it. I'm going to love cleaning a house of my own and doing my laundry and cooking for myself and shopping for myself. It's so terrific.

Well, I'm off to stare at my computer screen some more until I drift off into dream. Just remember how much I love you and sleep tight!

Doris "Mary" Marie Shutske

2006-01-24T12:19:00.000-08:00

This is my grandma. My grandma Mary passed away last Friday. Today was her funeral. I just wanted to hug her again. I miss her so much. I got used to seeing her almost everyday for most of my life and now she's gone. It's okay, though. She is in heaven dancing, laughing, and having a good time. I'm so happy she's in heaven so that I can see her again someday. My grandma was a sweetheart and loved all of us very much. I love her too and can't wait to see her again.

Thank you to the Plotners, my mom's cell, the Theiss', Sandi Tiemens, and all the rest of LSF that helped in some way shape or form with the funeral and our family.

You have turned my mourning into dancing, put off my rags and clothed me with gladness

2006-01-17T07:44:00.000-08:00

My goodness. I haven't made a new post for the new year. Well here it goes:

This year destiny has been on my mind. Have you ever really considered and pondered how God has had your life planned out since the beginning of time??? He knew who you were before you were born and he knew we would all sin yet he still came and died on the cross! How awesome is that? We are worth the ultimate price. I have been really lax with my purpose and passion and this year I'm kicking it up. Jesus gave his all, so the least I can give is mine.

Well, there is my belated new year post. Have a wonderful day, cause you know what? you are a blessing.

My Permit

2005-12-27T21:47:00.000-08:00

This is my permit!!! I'm legally allowed to drive with a parent/guardian/somone over 21!!! I drove to my friend Shannie's house tonight to pick her up, it was so exciting. I just love driving.

Shazam!

2005-12-21T19:38:00.000-08:00

LOOKSY WHAT I GOTSY! A Klingon-English dictionary! My dear friend Shannie got it for me cause she knows one of my dreams is to be a treky. What a splendid thing it is.

2005-12-18T19:39:00.000-08:00

Today was pretty stressful, bet thanks to God and his love, I made it through. I wrote a whole bunch of stuff in my journal, but I'm not going to write it all here. Moral of the story is I'm alive and God loves me, but not only me, you.

RANDOMNESS:
I dare say, good fellow, you eat a lot of hot dogs.

I love my family so so much.

I got a Klingon-English dictionary. It's great.

Shhh....don't tell.

2005-12-04T11:53:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had something you wanted to tell so bad like you started going crazy, but you couldn't tell anyone cause you'd be stupid, but not so much that, you couldn't take it back ever if you wanted to. Then people would feel sorry for you and it'd be awful. Well, that's where I am. I want to tell someone this deep dark, well, not deep and dark, but i want to tell somehting I've never told before, but I just can't. Oh the troubles of secrets. I am glad no one knows, though. I can just think about when I'm all alone and I don't think it's stupid, so tsall good. Well, jsut wanted to blab a bit more. I like this blog. It's like a diary, but way more stupid.

Today

2005-12-01T19:40:00.000-08:00

Welcome to WPAM radio, and thanks for tuning in to this transcript that was written especially for your enjoyment. (crazy guitars start playing intro music as Pam sips on her coffee, black)

So, I'm turning the big one six in...twenty seven days. I think I'm going to write all numbers out. I was debating whether or not to have a party, then I thought "Pam, you don't have enough friends to have a party, and everytime you are at a party you want to die." So I guess it's an ixney on the artypay. I don't know. I want to go to the art museum in chicago very badly. I've never been there, but I don't think I'd have fun going with anyone in my family. When I go out to the art museum, I want silence, well, noone talking to me. I want to be able to look and look and well, I don't know what you do at a museum, but I want to do it peacefully. Talking is okay, but I don't think it be any good conversation with my family. If I went with Lin, who doesn't want to go, we'd automatically have to make fun of it or pretend that every painting or whatever means something, but like I said she doesn't want to go. If I went with my mom, everything would mean something, especially my not wanting to talk. Stuff meaning stuff isn't bad, I just don't want to do that at the art museum. Christi would say, "Hey, let's blow this joint and go shopping. I hear there is a really expensive store down the street." I usually hate shopping unless I need something or am held at gun point. Joey, he'd be on the phone the whole time...boring. Dad, I can't imagine going to the art museum with my dad. So, I guess I'm doomed to go alone, and probably won't go until I know where I can buy mace and can drive, meaning not in the near future. Anyway, I'd just like to go. Now my faithful readers (any readers) know what I want and what I will not be getting for years to come, how exciting.

On to other news...Today it snowed, how exciting. Samara, my favorite Samara is spending the night. Linda and her just watched veggie tales and are now tucked quietly away in bed. Linda is a sucker for those veggie tales. I really think Mara could have cared less, but because of how sweet that little munchcin is, she reluctantly let Lindweeb (my new name for her) watch the movie. If that little girl got any cuter, I'd have to...to...to...well, say she got cuter.

Well, at the end of this nine o'clock hour, I am Pam Shutske with WPAM radio, tune in next time when well be talking about how to de-scale fish, how exciting.

People

2005-11-30T21:30:00.000-08:00

I can't stand people who think they are so cool...well, besides me...I'm so cool. No, I'm seriously joking. Man, I'm finding out how much I don't like people in general. I'm not a very good person. I imagine myself growing old, being an old maid, having a shack in the woods and being a crazy cat lady, scaring children and maybe I'll have a brewery in my back woods...who knows. I do think I'll grow up and be very bitter and very, well, bitter. I'm not very nice and I'm annoying. Man, I bet you are glad you are my friend. I'm really good at making myself sound pleasant, am I not? Who knows, I'm pretty sure I'll be crazy in my old age, if I am not all ready, and I'll die thinking I'm sleeping on a cake full of baloons singing amazing grace to myself and my forty cats. Well, that's all I'm gonna say.

WPAM Radio...Tune in for news on "The Pampster"

2005-11-20T21:53:00.000-08:00

Hey, haven't posted for a while.  I took this survey fro myspace (which I hate by the way.  Myspace is the most...well, let's just say I don't get the hang or "coolness" of myspace.  I don't like it.) and it asked what phrase I overuse or something along those lines, and I overuse hey.  I don't like saying it because I feel like the person who reads it will read it like Hey, like the high pitched voice inflection on the first part of the word.  I feel like a ditzy kind of girl when I say, when I'm like totally not.  I'm totally deep and like know how to like say big words like...like...well, I'm not like ditzy.  Anyway...I don't like saying hey.

Not much is new, I've been going through a, not really, but sorta hard time.  Nothing really that is important, just tough.  The Lord is working in me and testing me, though, so I know I'll be okay.  Today, at church, I felt for the first time ever my heart actually feeling a calling, a purpose.  I never have felt that before, and it's kinda hard to explain, but I felt a calling.  My heart yearned to be playing my violin on a song and to be dancing on another song.  It was so hard to stand there.  I started crying (big baby).  This sounds retarded, but if you only knew what it felt like.  It almost hurt because I wanted to do it so badly.  My heart literally longed to worship God by dancing, and by playing the violin.  It's so hard to describe.  Wow, someday (like in two weeks) I'll read back over this and see how stupid I sounded.  It's just the first time I felt like I knew exactly what I am supposed to do.  I am far from the best violin player (I'm not even any good) and I'm far from the best dancer (I can't tell my right from my left) but I know I'm supposed to do those things.  This feeling is incredible.

In other news, my cell, which I attend on Sundays, has moved up a half hour.  I just love my cell.  I never thought that I could ever stand to be in a room with these people for more than twenty minutes without going nuts, but that was only because of idiotic judgements I had past on almost everysingle person in my cell.  That's another thing God's been working on me with.  I judge so much, and I just do it, not even realizing I'm judging.  I'll judge someone, how they act, what kind of person they are just because they happen to be wearing hollister or abercrombie (not a big fan of those stores).  Just because they shop there and wear those clothes does not mean they are all stuck up people who think they are better than you.  Granted many are like that, they all aren't, and I have no right to judge.  What if someone judged me because I wore wal-mart clothes?  What if just cause I'm a wal-mart baby they said I was arrogant and stupid...oh wait, I am.  Just Jokin!  No, seriously...It's not fair to judge, and I'm learning that. (I think this is the longest blog I've ever written)  Anyway...I love everyone in my cell, they are the bomb, all of them.

I'M TURNING 16 IN 37 DAYS!!!!!  Hallelujah!  My dad said something about having a big blow out party, but the only problem with that is...I don't have enough friends to have a big blow out party.  I remember when my sister Christi turned sixteen, she invited like 50 people.  She's always been one for big parties.  At her open house she invited like 500 people.  (she wanted lots of money...wise) (just jokin about the last thing i put in parenthesis) (this is fun...putting parenthesis) I hope I spelled parenthesis right.  I can't wait till I can drive.

Somone asked me today if I was "serious" about anyone, meaning a guy.  I don't really talk to this lady, so I just smiled awkwardly and said no.  Why am I talking about this?  I forgot what my point was.  Oh, I was gonna say some stupid thing like, well, I don't want to say it, cause then I get pity comments.  wouldn't want that...those are the worst.  I should just erase this paragraph...naw, who cares.  No one reads this anyway.

Well, I'm out.  Check ya' later.  Peace out, yo.  Hip to the hop, the beat non-stop, gonna dance till I drop or stopped by a cop, but i can't help but bop and shop and spin like a top then maybe i'll mop while i'm sittin' on top of my lolipop and...okay, out of rhymes.

This is a test

2005-11-20T20:07:00.000-08:00

This is a test (image placeholder)

I'm Mostly Choleric :(

2005-11-02T09:01:00.000-08:00

Take a personality test. It'll be fun. What's my diagnosis? I'm choleric then senguine then I think I tied with phlegmatic and meloncholy. I'm not so happy. Aren't cholerics annoying? Hang on...I'm gonna get the definition of choleric...ok, here:
One of the four temperaments, associated with the element of fire. The choleric personality is believed to indicate an optimistic, youthful, impulsive temperament, prone to spontaneous outbursts of emotion.
I guess that could be me. I'm optimistic, somewhat, youthful, moody. I guess that's okay. Naw, I'm annoying.
http://www.oneishy.com/personality/personality_test.php

My Rubberbands, Hallelujah

2005-10-31T12:55:00.000-08:00

DUDES, I got my totally rad rubberbands. I like so love um, like totally. They rock and I rock. The world rocks when Pam's hangin' out, like totally. Anyway...If you want to see what they look like click this: http://www.thefilebucket.com/files/889/my%20mouth.bmp. It's a pic of my new mouth including rubberbands. My teeth are all uneven and such, but hey, I have rubberbands. Check ya'll later.

Survival

2005-10-29T17:11:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been so tired of....everything and I realized I can't survive without God. I knew this before, but it just seemed like a revalation to me. I won't be able to handle the everyday troubles that come without my Savior and if I can't even handle those without God, then how will I ever survive when I graduate and live my life without the protection of my parents? I'm changing for the better. I love God so much and my life is devoted to Him. I had to tell someone, and I thought who better than those that read my blog? I'm at peace right now, that I've had the revalation and everything I just hope that I can please God. I feel like when I give everything, it's not enough (it never will be) but God sees my heart and what I'm giving, and I give my all and all. I surrender. I can't do nothin' without God. I can't survive without God.

Shakespeare

2005-10-28T20:55:00.000-07:00

Oh! That men should put an enemy into their mouths to steal away their brains. Oh God, that we should with joy, pleasure, revel, and applause transform ourselves into beast.

-Shakespeare

Wow, how inspired. I love it. In other words, you are just being stupid when you drink. Drinking is like stabbing yourself over and over in your head until you die, now why would you want to do that? Amen, Shakespeare.

This Is Great

2005-10-27T07:36:00.000-07:00

I read this in a book for a research thing and thought it was great.

"77% of anti-abortion leaders are men. 100% of them will never be pregnant."

This statement I just realized was a crack to help abortion along. I hate abortion. The killing of unborn babies just sickens me. Imagine if your mother would have had you murdered without hope of ever having a life or even fighting back, how would that be? What kind of world do we live in that lets us kill children so that we as a people can be sinful and make more babies without any consequenses? Think about it. Children are gifts from God. He took the time to design everyone of us to the last hair on our heads, what kind of thanks is that when we turn around and kill the very gift he gave to us?

When I first read this statement, I read it wrong. I thought is read "77% of abortion leaders are men." I thought that that statement was powerful, but then I pondered it and realized what it was saying. Men were created to be the leaders (not that I'm saying women shouldn't lead in certain areas) and I am very happy that more than not men are against abortion. A lot of times I have little problem with men, just cause most, not all, have only a few things on their minds, and I think that there are more important things in life...like not killing innocent children. Thank you, whoever took that poll thing, it really is nice to hear something like that.

Confidence

2005-10-20T21:23:00.000-07:00

I guess what I meant was I like it when people have confidence, not arrogance. I can't stand arrogance. Confidence is great and everybody should have some.

"Know It Alls"

2005-10-20T15:15:00.000-07:00

You know, I 1/2 can't stand know it alls, but I 1/2 admire them. They don't give anyone the satisfaction of being better than them. If someone says something rude or mean that makes the rest of the room say "oooo, ouch, burn" they say you're right, and the person making the rude remarks gets no satisfaction from saying the mean remark. Know it alls can be very smart, but they also are know it alls which are so annoying. I guess I'd say I 1/4 can't stand know it alls and 3/4 love them. If you are a know it all, I like you more than I don't.

Sixflags

2005-10-03T21:56:00.000-07:00

Me and some people went to sixflags yesterday. It was wonderful. I went on the Gieant Drop, the Ricochet, the Raging Bull, then it rained and rained and rained and rained, then I went on the something purple, then I went on um...the Batman, then the purple thing again, then the Raging Rapids, where I got sopping wet, which was terrible, then I went on the condor, then I went on the Superman, then I went on the Iron Wolf, twice in a row, then I went on nothing more. I had a blast. It was so great, except riding home wet and freezing with the air conditioner on. We got home at eleven thirty, and I was soooooo tired, but it was worth it. It was great. I can't say it enough.

Post later.

HEY

2005-09-28T08:12:00.000-07:00

I think I have to republish my blog in order to make my new pic. work, so here goes.

Haven't posted in a while.

2005-09-25T16:04:00.000-07:00

Well, today has been nice. I got to relax most of the afternoon, that hasn't happened in a while. I have a few things I need to get done, outside the norm., but today I really needed a break. It's amazing how much God can revive you, though. Wednesday was the breaking point for me. I really didn't have a "break" during summer break, but it wasn't so bad, however, since school started I haven't had ANY down time, I mean ANY. So Wednesday I would just start crying for no reason, only because I was tired I imagine. I played during the morning 10am-12pm, which was cool, but then at 7pm when I was supposed to play again, I was completely pooped. I asked if I could just "soak" in God's presence while everyone else played and I got a nice yes. So I did soak. It was reviving spiritually. I had been feeling so dry because I was constantly doing something or playing or doing school or blah blah blah, anyway, God revived me, and I feel much better. I have still been doing a lot, but it seems less. If you rest or abide in God, like we have been talking about in cell, He will restore you. It's been tested and proven. Hallelujah.

Well, that's it for now.

I figure...

2005-09-20T23:57:00.000-07:00

I figure I should keep up with this darn blog, so here's a posting for ya.

I love coleslaw and tea. I love Gone with the Wind, but most of all I love God. Now, sing a song to yourself and sleep tight. I'm pooped.

Bath Hater

2005-09-18T15:57:00.000-07:00

I think this picture is funny...just the cat's expression and all.

Today was pretty good. Worshiping God is always amazing. I love Him more than anything and I can't wait to meet Him in Heaven one day.

My bro Joey, check out his blog, got this program for editing music and stuff, so I went and found karaoke music and then recorded my voice onto it. It's a good way to learn to sing better. I've been practicing this song for a couple days now and I'm getting better. You can here when you are off key or whatever. It's like giving yourself voice lessons. It truly is wonderful.

I'm so excited. I'm goin' to cell tonight and I just love it. I LOVE IT! I will learn and then teach what I learn to my cell on Tuesday. It's just so great.

I'm all dressed up!

2005-09-16T16:37:00.000-07:00

I'm going to a birthday party and I found out that there was a Hawaiian theme. I drew on my face, with a permanent marker, a Hawaiian flower. (It comes off pretty easy. It's not the first time I've done this.) I also drew a flower on my arm. I have on jeans and a Hawaiian looking dress. I'm pretty excited, but it's really cold for sleeveless. Anyway...I'm excited about the party. I need a break from everything that's been going on. I haven't gotten a break. Summer was long and going, going, going, and now the school year is even busier and going, going, going. I'm so tired. I have been getting headaches and my throat has been hurting, but then I go to sleep and I'm fine the next day, but then it happens again that night. I can't wait to get some relaxation partying with my buds.

Funny story...the mom of the birthday girl called to make sure we could come, but she ALWAYS likes to prank, so I said "Hello." and I hear "halo, si....no?" and I said "*pause*No habla espanol?" She says "no comprende?" Then I said "hakabloekovnifjia" I hear "simioginjbvjk" It started sounding like a kung-foo movie so I said "HIIII----YAHHH" and she yelled "I KNOW KARATE!" It was hilarious. Maybe you had to be there, I don't know, but it was really funny. And that's my story. So long.

Wierd but Cool

2005-09-15T11:04:00.000-07:00

I grade a SOL paper now. It's incredible! My first cell lesson went well. I was really afraid it'd be really short, but it wasn't. I loved teaching it. I feel like it's the first step in starting to make a difference in people's lives. I'm so...so....well...EXCITED!

The Justice League

2005-09-15T09:21:00.000-07:00

This is the Justice League. (from left: the Blue Devil or Jonn', the Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, Superman, Batman, the Flash, and Hawk Girl) The Justice League is always there to save the day. They deserve a pic. up on the ol' blogg. The Blue Devil and the Green Lantern are my favorites.